


dong bongs (why did we do this)

by Fuuta, Iwashima



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alien!Iwaizumi, Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M, Other, Please Don't Ask, blaze it, bless my principal, come on look at those arms, dong bongs, dont do drugs kids, everyone knows iwaizumi has the muscles, scientist!oikawa, we alllll know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 11:37:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5926999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuuta/pseuds/Fuuta, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwashima/pseuds/Iwashima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are ups and downs to meeting the Alien race.</p>
<p>Oikawa himself has witnessed this firsthand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dong bongs (why did we do this)

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for this xD
> 
> It started as crack, then we tried to make it serious for a minute, but then we gave up so yeah it's crack.

One hot and humid summer evening, a young man had fallen in the extra terrestrial arms of a creature that no one of the entire human race even knew existed. “Holy cheese and crust, am I gay?’’ he proclaimed to himself, seeing the arms he had fallen into. The unknown creature had a similar appearance to a human. The big bara arms also definitely felt out of this world against his back. He swooned internally. They were beefy as fuck and honestly, literally everyone knew he preferred beefy men. 

To even begin with, he wasn’t so sure about how he even got to this point. How and from where did he fall?

Doctor Oikawa Tooru, from the extra terrestrial research team of N University, has possibly gotten into the hands of what you may call an Alien. However tumultuous and dangerous the situation at hand seemed to be, Oikawa also thought it was a bit like fate, a once in a lifetime chance like this. 

He didn’t want to be found out and kept this experiment to himself, because of a few reasons. First of all, he felt that his friends (even if he knew they would keep the Alien a secret) would get so annoyingly persistent about the whole thing, and would probably beg and beg to see the specimen at hand. Secondly, he didn’t want to suspect the poor Alien to his co-scientists and their own experiments, because who knows what they’d do to him, after all. Oikawa wasn’t that cruel. Lastly but most importantly, it’s an Alien, for god’s sake. 

The Alien was muted and hasn’t said anything ever since he was caught by it. The alien was, at first observation, aloof, but didn’t show any signs of danger so Oikawa felt safe around him. He rapidly wrapped the alien with his lab coat, hurried to his car and drove to his apartment. 

At his apartment, the alien was amazed by the bong in the shape of a fat veiny dong.  
J UST FUCKING LYING ON THE COUNTER GOD DAMMIT OIKAWA!!! SMOKING IS BAD KIDS! AS MY PRINCIPAL WOULD SAY “HAVE A GOOD DAY AND DONT DO DRUGS”.HAHAH420AHAAH blazeit motherfuckers TIME TO DO SOME DOPEEEEE  
“dont do drugs kids” was posted on the wall beside a weed poster.  
iwachan looks at the bong carefully “wtf is this”  
“i swear to god its not mine its my friend matsun’s”  
“but why is it here, what does it do”  
“....im not explaining to you how to use it”  
and thats the drabble of how iwaizumi became a druggie (god dammit matsukawa stop bringing ur bongs over to my house - oikawa)

 

 

Bonus:  
(Sorry these aren't pictures, I'm completely new to ao3. Whoops.)  
The doc in it's entirety:  
https://i.gyazo.com/3a1ef2010b45551b2c9e6481416c775f.png  
https://i.gyazo.com/c61108c246e4e6fbadce17d75fa2ba22.png  
https://i.gyazo.com/2194a9afe63c70e8a84abf141b5cee55.png  
https://i.gyazo.com/f64b642f530f37c39f6d787bcf75d08a.png

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, there you go. My first post and it's this.. gg me lmao


End file.
